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While the idea of love, at first sight, may seem romantic, it is not necessarily a realistic expectation. It takes time to truly get to know someone and establish a deep connection. Instant attraction and infatuation can be powerful, but building a lasting relationship requires more than just physical chemistry. The belief in a single, perfect soulmate who completes us is a popular myth perpetuated by movies and books. This idea can create unrealistic expectations and put undue pressure on relationships. It is important to recognize that compatibility is a result of shared values, interests, and goals, rather than just a mystical connection.
Don’t…leave everything to ‘fate’. Yes, it’s true you cannot force love and relationships, but if you don’t make any effort there is nowhere for love to grow from. It’s important to be resilient and continue to put yourself out there in healthy ways. Do…go with the flow! It’s important not to put too much pressure on expected outcomes. Let things develop naturally and if they don’t, let things be natural too. Don’t…be too hung up on dating rules. Believe it or not, there are no wrongs or rights. If you want to kiss on the first date, go ahead. If you don’t feel comfortable getting too close that’s okay too! Know what’s right for you and communicate it to your date in a polite and friendly way.
Dating is always tough to navigate: What do you text back, who pays the check, and why is it so hard to meet normal people? But dating in 2022 brings a whole new set of difficulties: The old rules of dating no longer apply, most exchanges happen over an app, and we forgot how to do our makeup while staying at home since 2020 (nope, just me?). But difficult or not, you deserve a fulfilling life, fun ways to meet new people, and to actually enjoy dating (because no one should have Charlotte’s dating exhaustion).
Thinking being a good guy is enough to get you a girl : Most guys think that being the good (or ‘nice guy’) is enough to get girls to pay attention to them. When they find a girl attractive, instead of them manning up and asking the girl out on a proper date, they begin to do nice things for her, hoping that she’ll look at them and see that he’s the one they want to be with. Don’t get this wrong. There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a girl you like. However, if you just infinitely do nice things for a girl, never making any move, and hoping that she will one day look at you and want to date you, you are making a big mistake. Of course, simply doing nice things may work on rare occasions (if the girl already likes you), but those occasions are exemptions to the rule. In most cases, the guy will only end up in the friendzone.
Keeping the romance in a relationship is hard work. Most people just go with the flow and gradually let a natural decay slowly kill the relationship. This is why it takes a deliberate effort to make a relationship work. And when a man knows what to do to keep the romance alive, it blows a woman’s mind away. Men who understand this know the value of space. They know that it’s not just about giving the woman their attention all the time. They understand that as much as attention is good, it’s also good to go away, and let the mind want what it already has. This is perhaps why Esther Perel, a relationship therapist put it that desire needs space. Those who don’t understand this simple concept end up with a passion that only lasts as long as their hormones can remain fired up.
Ask for Clarification: If your date makes a comment that you don’t understand, smile, and politely ask them for an explanation. Sometimes I use humor to do this, “Educate me, can you explain, I really don’t understand?” That gives your date a chance to elaborate on the subject while you get the chance to better understand their values, perspectives on life, interest and a whole realm of other important factors while getting to know someone out in the dating wilderness.
Next up: Playing hard to get or waiting for the other person to make the first move. Besides outdated gender roles, these “rules” come from the idea that whoever cares less in the relationship is the one who has the most power. But should love be about power? It’s OK to care; we’re supposed to care about each other. So what does it matter if you “come on too strong” or “care more?” Be true to your feelings and what you want. Oh, and making the first move can save us a lot of time wondering if they like us back.
There’s something about the end of one year and the beginning of a new one that naturally inspires you to take stock of your old habits and start some smarter ones. This well-researched phenomenon is called the “fresh start effect” — landmarks, like a new year, motivate people to set goals. If your goal involves figuring out how to find love in 2022, I’ve got news for you: you don’t have to spend hours tirelessly swiping on those dating apps to attain that happily ever after. In fact, many of the best dating tips I have to offer have nothing to do with looking for other singles, but rather, working on yourself. The more time and effort you put into examining and changing the patterns that are keeping you “stuck,” the more likely you are to recognize real love with lasting potential when you find it. In short, it’s time to turn inward. What shortcomings may be preventing you from attracting the partner you desire? What unhealthy beliefs or tendencies are driving you toward toxic people? How can you build yourself up so that you have the confidence to go after what you want, and the resilience to handle rejection when it doesn’t work out?
Narcissists and controlling personalities very often like to lock things down ASAP — because they like to dictate the pace, they thrive on the thrill of making you swoon over them, and fast-tracking intimacy means they get what they want out of you sooner. Unfortunately, when you get in too deep too fast, you don’t have a chance to see who they really are before committing. Then, three months in, when you have your first argument, it may become crystal clear that they’re not only completely different than the person who swept you off your feet but probably incapable of forming a healthy bond. The lesson here? Slow and steady wins the race. Anyone worth being with will be willing to wait for those feelings to grow. By taking your time in dating, you’re allowing yourself the opportunity to get to know all facets of the other person — not just the ones they want you to see — before making any decisions about your future.